When COVID-19 Came My Way

It felt like it was only yesterday that I was diagnosed with the Coronavirus. Excited for my crafted course schedule, stable* in my social life, attune with creativity and desire to strive; one day I woke up with chills and fever. Little did I know that these symptoms would shape the coming months and possibly my future.

My appreciation for science led me to take precautions surrounding the pandemic seriously. I frequently informed myself of updates from the CDC and guidelines from my state and county. Being only 21, I felt ambiguous toward being a part of a scientific history and negative unforeseen consequences for our world. Even so, my unfamiliarity surrounding the ethereal “pandemic” had little to no significance to me; I never imagined it would ever touch my lifespan.

Unlike, most young adults, my ego was not built on the supremacy of youthfulness. While some friends who resided in warmer pretentious institutions were barhopping, mask less, carefree, I chose to withdraw from similar events. A roommate and I connected with our shared weakened immune systems and our concern for the importance of a COVID free dwelling. Together, we created a lose set of rules for the other tenants to hopefully follow. While the statistics remained steady and newly enforced protocol regressed, many Americans relaxed their COVID obsessions, and embraced a more liberating lifestyle. For my roommates, this meant obnoxious random gatherings of up to 30 people. But this was not uncommon, in fact, this neglectful attitude was shared amongst undergrad students.

Still, I did not conform to this recklessness. I respected my and the health of others. As classes announced their transition to a “zoom” semester, the individualistic class setting left for ample self-reflection or loneliness. While I tried to limit my interactions with friends, I “fell’” weak to a few appealing party invitations from my best friend.

One night, we traveled to Rowan University for a house party. When we arrived, the cops were already there ordering people to disperse. Of course, we ignored their recommendation and waltzed in. The basement lights were dark and collided arms were sweaty. The darkness brilliantly hid the size of the population, and I found comfort in that. We broke a lot of COVID laws that night, bouncing from party to party. After arriving home, my usual nap turned into hibernation.

I awoke with flu-like symptoms which I ignored. It was not until the fifth day that fell intensely ill. I lit a candle which smelt of nothing and spicy ramen that resembled buttered noodles. Standing up was a struggle. My bones and chest were screaming for me to return to the fetal position in my bed. When I informed my parents of my symptoms, they urgently instructed me to get tested. By this time, COVID test were scarce. Three days after enduring the most awkward, uncomfortable exam ever, I received my result: Positive. I was advised to remain in a sick room for 14 days, take three or more showers a day, eat nutritiously, and take Tylenol as needed. I resented myself for my lawless behavior, grew increasingly lonely and lethargic. I missed my sense of taste and smell, but most importantly, my mom and dad. I felt like a leper.

I constantly questioned God and how my non-believer friend entered the weekday ailment free, while I suffered in isolation. At random times, I found joy in the numerous messages and phone calls of empathy from my church family. In brief moments of connection with God, I was reminded of the one who shaped me and the wondrous intricates that He so carefully crafted.

Romans 5:3-4, “But we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope."

No one knows the mind of God, except for God himself. He is infinite; we are finite. We are constantly reminded of God’s creations. Every minuscule detail about his people, time, and space has ben has been calculated to God’s understanding.

“He determines the number of the stars and calls them each by name. Great is our Lord and mighty in power; His understanding has no limit.” (Psalm 147:4-5)

Believers and non-Believers alike may question God’s decisions. We must remember that while evil exists, His intensions are most certainly out of love. Suffering is necessary as our earthly world is imperfect. But God’s painful adversities are unique to our growth as His children. Most of the Biblical parables are surrounded in struggle and suffering and most end victoriously. God would not force us into a battle that he did not believe we could not win.